Why More Isn't Always Better With Lash Extensions

The psychology behind natural beauty, balance, and why your lashes were never meant to do the work of your entire makeup routine.

By Mitzi Jo Runyan

A few years ago, I dated someone who looked at me one day and said my hair was "blindingly bright." I remember smiling because I honestly thought he meant it as a compliment.

A few weeks later, he casually mentioned that he thought I'd look more beautiful as a brunette. I immediately felt unsettled. My first thought wasn't curiosity.

It was, "Well... maybe you should date a brunette."

Instead of discussing it with him, I did something that makes me laugh now. I brought the conversation to my therapist. I asked her, "Is there actually something wrong with my hair?"

She looked at me and said, "You have blonde-orexia."

I laughed out loud. "What does that even mean? You can't be too blonde."

She simply smiled.

Later that evening, I went home and started scrolling through old pics of myself. That's when I saw it. In certain lighting, especially with my hair pulled back, there was almost no contrast between my hair and my skin. Instead of looking bright, I looked washed out.

The thing I thought was making me prettier had essentially crossed the line into making me look less like myself. That conversation has stayed with me because I see a version of it almost every day at Lashlette.

Women often arrive believing their lashes are going to become the answer to everything.

"I want lashes so I never have to wear makeup again."

"I want my eyes to pop without doing anything else."

I completely understand the thinking because, honestly, I've done the same thing with my own hair. The difference is that lashes were never designed to do the work of an entire makeup routine.

Professional lash extensions absolutely should replace mascara. In fact, if you feel like you still need mascara, it's usually a sign that your extensions have grown out, it's time for a refresh, or your lash design isn't giving you what you're looking for. That's a conversation with your artist—not a mascara problem.

Eyeshadow and eyeliner are different. They aren't competing with lashes because they each have a completely different job. Lashes create softness. They frame the eyes. They add depth along the lash line and make you look rested before you've even touched your makeup bag. (Side note: I genuinely love waking up with my lashes already looking so good)

Eyeshadow creates contour.

Eyeliner changes the perceived shape of the eye.

Light and shadow create dimension in ways lashes simply can't.

That's the beauty of makeup.

Every piece contributes something different.

Somewhere along the way, though, we've started expecting one feature to do the work of all the others. Instead of letting lashes frame the eyes, we ask them to create the drama of eyeliner, the contour of eyeshadow, and the impact of mascara all at once.

I don't think we only do this with lashes.

We do it with lips, hoping they'll somehow make our entire face look younger.

We do it with brows, believing a higher arch will change everything.

We do it with hair, convinced one more highlight or another six inches will finally make us feel beautiful.

The feature changes.

The thinking doesn't.

We convince ourselves that if we can perfect one thing, everything else will somehow fall into place. Maybe that's just what happens when we spend years looking at ourselves in the mirror. We become so focused on improving one feature that we slowly stop seeing the whole person. I've learned over the years that beauty isn't created by making one thing bigger, darker, longer, or brighter.

Beauty is almost always created by balance.

One of my favorite clients comes in wearing joggers, a white T-shirt, and not a swipe of makeup. Her lashes look effortless. A few days later, she attends a wedding.

The lashes haven't changed. She adds a soft wash of eyeshadow, a little liner, maybe a bold lip, and suddenly the entire look feels glamorous. That's the part I love. Not because her lashes became bigger... But because they became versatile. To me, that's what sophistication really is. It's having something beautiful enough to stand on its own, yet subtle enough to become whatever you need it to be.

After twenty-five years in the beauty industry, I don't think the goal has ever been to have the biggest lashes in the room. I think the goal is much more subtle than that. I want someone to look at you and think,

"Wow... she looks beautiful."

Not...

"Look at her lashes."

Because when one feature becomes the main thing about us, it often overshadows everything else that was already beautiful. I 've come to believe that beauty isn't about perfecting one feature.It's about creating harmony between all of them. The goal was never bigger lashes. The goal was always a more beautiful-balanced you. A version of you that still looks like you. Just a little more rested. A little more polished. A little more confident. Because the most beautiful women I've ever met aren't remembered for one extraordinary feature.

They're remembered because everything works together.

And I think that's the kind of beauty worth seeing.